The Harsh Truth about Online Dating

A couple of months after I separated I talked to a friend who was doing online dating; I wanted to give a try. She gave me the basics and the warnings and I signed up for my first site. Honestly it was a little slow at first. It took a lot of time and energy, looking through profiles, pictures, messages. I chatted with a couple of people and went on my first date about two weeks later. I quickly learned that online dating was about agendas. What was their agenda. Did they want sex, money or were they broken and needy. Usually it was the first. Weeding through the plethora of messages, trying to figure out, are they married? Are they a scammer? Good lord. Yes, it was quite an ego boost, but also exhausting.
I learned if they were not local and did not want to meet, they were likely a scammer. I learned to weed them out fairly quickly by asking questions and paying attention to details. I met a couple of nice guys that I am still friends with. I met one that was actually genuine, but lived to dang far away. The drives were killing us! Oh, and it is true, you get a lot of pics. I could probably cover a wall in them. I met a couple of crazy stalkers. Yep, and I have been told that they were in love with me after the first date - not okay!

Online dating is interesting and I know some people have met their partners online. So I am not discounting it, but just saying from my experience that it was overwhelming and full of more people just wanting to fulfill agendas than interested in actually building a relationship with someone.
I did learn a lot about myself during this time. What I wanted in a partner, what I did not want in a partner. How to date again, self confidence, patience, and communication via online tools. I learned about my personality strengths and weaknesses as I navigated filling out profiles and going on dates.
I tried five different sites over a little over a year. Each had its positives and negatives. All of them had scammers, and stalkers and cheaters, so you just have to figure out how to watch out for them. I currently have been offline for about nine months. The last two stalkers I had did me in for awhile. Maybe I will try again someday, maybe not. I am happy right now learning about myself and doing the things I need to do to elevate higher. Occasionally I date someone I meet naturally, but I am not worried about it.
Happy being me!  Love and light! ~ Josie